yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
try to milk me bitch
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