Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
