I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
