AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
