i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I FOUND THE LEGS
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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