By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
