It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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