did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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