I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
