we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
