I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
