I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We're too hungover to prance.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
