So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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