it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
