I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
