I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
