i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
