She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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