Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
