I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
