Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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