i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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