woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
