after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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