if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize