You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
