Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
