I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
