so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
