I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
