He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
