She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
