I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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