No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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