I'm gonna have a badass scar
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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