Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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