Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
