I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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