wakey wakey hands off snakey
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
