chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
