i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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