I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
