Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
