How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
