I wish my penis had an off switch
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
