If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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