her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
