Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
