Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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