So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
