it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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