in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
